Midnight Blogging

Well, although it's almost 1am, I can't sleep.

So I decided to blog.

I finally got a new roommate.

Her name is Kristina and she's really sweet.

I started my new shift at work.

6pm-6am

It definitely kicks my butt.

However, I need the money.

I go to work at night, and sleep during the day.

But I can only work 3 night shifts before I hit overtime.

So it's really not that bad.

I came home to Utah on Thursday night.

Friday was my dad's sealing with my step mom.

After that Austin, Trever, Bre, and I went to Boondocks and it was a TON of fun!

I really want to go again!

Saturday I was supposed to go sky diving with my mom.

But the winds were too high so we couldn't.

Instead we went to dinner and a movie.

Then we went grocery shopping.

Today I woke up and Kira came over.

It was really good to catch up with her.

Tomorrow I'm going to Raging Waters with the family.

That's my life lately.

Do I seem a little down?

That's because I am...

I try too hard.

I worry too much.

I think too much.

I over analyze too much.

I push people away.

I don't know if I like who I am...

I've always had a problem with my self esteem.

And everyone knows that.

But for once... I just want to be happy with myself.

I want to be able to feel like I've done something right.

Like I'm not a screw up.

I get so scared over the littlest things...

I guess I just hate disappointing people.

And I feel like it's all I ever do.

I don't know how to change.

I don't know how to stop hurting.

I don't know how to make people happy.

But I love my amazing friends.

And my family of course.

Maybe one day.... I'll actually get things right.