Running Through My Head

Sorry I keep posting so much! I guess I just have a lot to say!

I've been thinking SO much today about some things.

First, I'm planning on talking to my bishop in a few weeks about going on a mission. 

Yes, you read that correctly. A mission.

I have no idea what will be said, or how my sweet family will react, but I have always had the desire to go, I'm worthy to go, and watching conference this weekend has made me really think about it.

Second, let's talk about dating for a minute.

Dating is great, and a ton of fun... most of the time haha

I had an experience this past week that left me extremely confused and with the thought of "I'm just not ready to date again..."

But this thought was wrong. Because, like a couple posts ago, I'm not going to dwell on the past. Of course, I don't want to jump into anything, and I'd really like to concentrate more on school, but I refuse to let bad experiences get me down. I wouldn't even say this past week was a bad experience, as much as it was a learning experience. I hung out with an amazing guy. We got along really well, he made me laugh, and is very caring. So what went wrong? Well, rather than enjoying myself, and living in the moment, I let thoughts in my head take over. Everything was also really bad timing. Anyways, I scared the guy away. And I completely understand why. I hope he'll still want to be friends with me because he really is a good guy. I hope one day he'll realize that I had a bad week, and some of the things I said (or freaked out about) were things that I normally would never say. I feel that I'm usually a pretty chill, down to earth person. Either way, if anything, I've learned a great lesson, and also realized that there really are good guys still out there. 

Third, I've been thinking all day about serving others. I've had quite a few people on my mind lately and since talking to them throughout today, I've realized that serving others is something that I really need to continue to do. Not only does it help me to feel better, but it can eventually change the lives of others. :)

I LOVE MY LIFE

Memory Lane

I thought it might be fun to put up some pictures of me from 2009 until now. Just to prove to myself that although people still think I'm 17-18, my looks show that I've grown up a little bit :)

2009

January

February

 March

 May

 June

 July

 September

 October

 November

2010

 January

 February

 March

 May

 June

 July

 

September

 

 October

 November

 December

2011

 January

 February

 March

 April

 July

 August

 September

 October

 November

December

2012

 January

 February

 March

 April

 May

 June

 July

August

 

 September

So do I look older to anybody else? ;) 

I LOVE MY LIFE 

Enjoy the Ride

I've been meaning to post for sometime. Life just gets in the way so quickly sometimes!

I've learned more about myself this past week than I've ever learned before.

Let me elaborate on that a little bit.

I've been an emotional wreck. And not just the normal "oh she's just being a girl" type of emotional wreck. I'm talking the "that chick over there is freakin crazy" kind. All I can do now is laugh at myself but it was definitely a tough week. 

Anybody that knows me knows that I'm extremely passionate about everything I do and that I'm also sensitive. I also tend to think about the past too much and rush the future. I have this friend of mine that pretty much only saw my worst side this past week. Actually, my sweet roommates definitely saw this as well. As much as I want to take it back, all I can do is laugh, smile, and learn. Sometimes I just want things to be so perfect. But that's the great thing about my life. Nothing is ever perfect :) 

So the things I learned about myself this week are: I'm crazy (no really though), I'm WAY too sensitive, I'm so worried about everything being perfect that I don't have time to just enjoy life, I think about the past and the future too much, and I think about myself too much.

How am I going to fix this? Notice I said fix and not change. Because let me say right now, I LOVE who I am. I may not always act like it or even say it, but I do. And I refuse to change who I am, but there's always room for improvement :) As far as being crazy goes (ex boyfriends can tell you how true this is) I just need to freakin' relax. That's really all there is to it. Life is way too short to cause a big deal out of things. Life needs to be enjoyed. And enjoy it, I will. I'm sensitive. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but I need to be able to take criticism better and realize that when people are criticizing me, it's probably out of love and concern. I'm a worrier. I've learned that sometimes life just doesn't go as planned, and that's okay. I've got to stop worrying about things, (and others at times) and just laugh, smile, and enjoy this amazing ride. I've noticed my biggest problem is that I think about the future and the past too much. I think about the past because I don't want the same things to happen and I definitely don't want to repeat it. But rather than leaving those things in the past and just from learning about it, I've been dwelling on them. I just need to stop. It's not doing anybody any good. As far as looking at the future, I also need to just stop. I really need to enjoy the present, make memories, and laugh like crazy. I've noticed I'm a very selfish person. And that stops right now. I need to serve others more.

If I start slacking on any of these things, anybody who's reading this has my permission to slap me and tell me to get back into shape (that's not supposed to be a fat joke...). 

I really do love who I am. I'm nowhere near perfect and I have so many things I need to improve on. But at least I recognize that right? I'm working to be a better person everyday. And I honestly don't care if nobody recognizes or realizes that. All that matters is that I know I'm trying my best. :)

I LOVE MY LIFE