I've protested with myself for the last couple weeks of whether or not to post some feelings...
However, I know it's good for me.
However, I know it's good for me.
I tell myself everyday that if I just do what I'm supposed to, Heavenly Father will help me in whatever ways I need.
It's just hard to watch everyone around me so happy when I struggle to figure out who I am and what I want.
I'm already so independent.
I guess life just gets hard sometimes.
Maybe 2011 will be a better year...
I sure freakin hope so...
Maybe if I fall asleep long enough,
I'll wake up to realize this was all just the worst nightmare of all time,
and I'll be 5 again :)
Playing the memory game with my mom on the living room floor.
Or eating an icecream cone while watching Winnie the Pooh.
Or jumping on the trampoline just to have Austin tackle me because he's obbsessed with WCW wrestling...
My daddy's Brittany Spaniel dog Jake is running around in our big backyard..
Back to the days when I wanted grow up so badly...
How much I wish I could go back and tell myself
"Kid, your life is going to be far from easy. Enjoy this now. Don't fight with your siblings...cuz before you know it, none of them will want to speak to you or they'll resent you for the rest of your childhood because you're the youngest. Don't mind that your parents will be getting divorced. It's pretty normal. Don't worry about not fitting in, you were born to stand out, and don't you EVER let anyone tell you different. High school is going to be HELL. and that's an understatement. You're going to have enemies, friends, and heartbreak. And most boys probably won't tell you that you're special, or that you're a princess. But even if you have to look in the mirror every single day and tell yourself that you are... as long as YOU believe it, then it's true. And most importantly, you have to KNOW that even when you feel so alone, like there's nobody in the whole world who cares... your Heavenly Father will always be there."
I guess life just gets hard sometimes.
Maybe 2011 will be a better year...
I sure freakin hope so...
Maybe if I fall asleep long enough,
I'll wake up to realize this was all just the worst nightmare of all time,
and I'll be 5 again :)
Playing the memory game with my mom on the living room floor.
Or eating an icecream cone while watching Winnie the Pooh.
Or jumping on the trampoline just to have Austin tackle me because he's obbsessed with WCW wrestling...
My daddy's Brittany Spaniel dog Jake is running around in our big backyard..
Back to the days when I wanted grow up so badly...
How much I wish I could go back and tell myself
"Kid, your life is going to be far from easy. Enjoy this now. Don't fight with your siblings...cuz before you know it, none of them will want to speak to you or they'll resent you for the rest of your childhood because you're the youngest. Don't mind that your parents will be getting divorced. It's pretty normal. Don't worry about not fitting in, you were born to stand out, and don't you EVER let anyone tell you different. High school is going to be HELL. and that's an understatement. You're going to have enemies, friends, and heartbreak. And most boys probably won't tell you that you're special, or that you're a princess. But even if you have to look in the mirror every single day and tell yourself that you are... as long as YOU believe it, then it's true. And most importantly, you have to KNOW that even when you feel so alone, like there's nobody in the whole world who cares... your Heavenly Father will always be there."
I wish I would've known...
Sometimes.... life. just. hurts.
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