confusing times

If someone would have come up to me the day I turned 16 and said:
"In 4 years, you'll be at BYU-Idaho, and more things than you can ever imagine will have happened to you",
I probably wouldn't have believed them.

I'm so grateful for my roommates.
Life is never easy for anyone.
I've had a great last couple days.
But sometimes things can get so confusing.

I'm so glad that tonight as I was marching out the door to drive to wherever my car took me, with tears rolling down my cheeks, Megan my roommate said three simple words.
"Alicia, come here."
Followed by a very appreciated hug from her and Kristina.
I let everything out.
My secrets, my fears, everything.
And they just sat there and listened, hugged me, and continued to listen.

Heavenly Father puts angels in our lives all the time without us even recognizing it.
These two girls tonight are definitely in my life for a reason.
I'm so grateful that I live with them and I no longer feel the way I did earlier tonight.

Like I said, my life has been confusing lately.
Dating, family, work, emotions, friends, decision, everything.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and there's a lesson to be learned.
But you know those times when you're in the trial and you're just praying that it all be over soon?
That's where I'm at.
I remember in high school, that was pretty much all I ever did.
I prayed that I could get through the next day.
And now that I look back at highschool, I think wow.
I got through all of that?
Look at all of those lessons and how much stronger I am!
It's when you're in the trial that it feels like time can't go any slower.

I've been told it takes 21 days to break or make a habit.
The problem is, I'm not trying to break or make a habit.
I just want my life to move on without the painful feelings.
Will 21 days make them go away?
How many weeks will it take?
How many months?
I've also been told to just take things a day at a time.
What to do... what to do...
I sure don't know.
I usually don't.

As hard as it is right now...
i love my life