Thanksgiving

I don't have much time to write today but I'll do my best.

I came home for Thanksgiving on Monday and had a great time with my mom getting pedicures and dinner.
Monday night I talked to Austin for a while and hung out with my dad and Deb, then went to bed.

Tuesday I woke up at about 5:30 cuz once again, I couldn't sleep.
I grabbed some drinks from the gas station and took them over to KSG for Austin and my cousin Kadynn.
I saw Jessica Wilde there and we started talking about what has been going on in our lives for the last little while.
Then, Austin, Kadynn, Jessica, Ben Putnam, and I went to Costa Vida for some lunch.
I met my mom at her work and she introduced me to everyone, and that was fun.
Then I went to my dad's work and sat around for a while.
I stopped on my way home at Layton High School.
I went and talked to some of my old seminary teachers who immediately said
"Who's the lucky guy?! Let's see that rock!"
Well, this girl definitely doesn't have a rock on her finger...
That was really hard but it was nice to catch up with them and let them know what's been going on in my life.
That night I hung out with an old ex of mine.
Bad idea.
I forgot that it doesn't matter if it's been a year or not, guys don't change.
I don't remember the last time that I was that uncomfortable and felt so taken advantage of.
At about 9 pm I told him I needed some sleep and he needed to leave.
I also forgot that guys like this one, don't take no for an answer.
But I eventually got him out the door and I felt so disgusting.

If a girl doesn't want to hold hands or cuddle or kiss, freakin heck deal with it!

Some guys are so dumb and think it's okay to do those things just for fun!

It's not okay stupid boys! lol
Good thing we have prayer! It helped so much!

I was supposed to go on a date with this same guy on Wednesday night but I texted him Wednesday morning and let him know that he had made me feel uncomfortable and I wasn't interested in going out with him anymore.
He didn't take it too well.
But that's how life goes sometimes.
Wednesday Austin, my dad, and I went shopping at the mall.
I think I surprised my dad and brother when I didn't ask my dad to pay for anything and I gladly paid for everything myself.
I got a really cute shirt and nice sweater for the holidays.
When we got home I fell asleep on the floor and Austin woke me up and told me we were going bowling.
So my cousin Kadynn, Ben Putnam, Austin, and I went bowling.
It was weird because Ben asked why I was so emotionless...
Kadynn said it was like I wasn't sad or happy, I was just... there.
I didn't care if I got a strike or if I even got a gutterball.
I was just glad to be out doing something.
After bowling we went to Denny's and it was SO much fun!

I knew thursday (Thanksgiving) was going to be difficult for me...
Considering what I've gone through the last couple months I was NOT looking forward to this day.
Once again I couldn't sleep so I got up at about 5.
I sat around and watched tv with my sweet puppy Cocoa until about 8 when the man of the house (dad) told me to stop being lazy and do something.
This resulted in me looking at old yearbooks on my bed.
I looked at the nice things people wrote about me and wondered if they were all still true.
But I'm pretty sure they are :)
My mom called a while after and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.
I've been really good about not crying for the last two weeks but yesterday I just couldn't do it.
She was very comforting and told me to just get through the day and tomorrow wouldn't be Thanksgiving anymore.
I got ready and went to my Aunt Mary's house.
I said hi to a few people and again, I got the whole "Why is she so emotionless" crap.
Oh well.
I ate what I could (Which was about two bites of everything) then went out to the living room with my cousin Donna.
Donna, Kelly, and Jessica are all sisters, and my favorite cousins :)
These three are the ones who I always go to for advice.
This time, I didn't go to them, they came to me lol
We talked about what had been going on in my life and what I'm doing to fix it.
All in all, it was a much needed and appreciated talk. :)

Austin and I left to go my mom's house when Austin and I got into a pretty bad argument.
My only thoughts during this was "I wouldn't even be in this argument right now if I wasn't in Utah..."
I debated whether or not to even come home for Thanksgiving. I wanted to stay in Idaho to work and keep my mind off things.
And a while ago I didn't think I'd be in Utah or Idaho... but that's something I refuse to talk about with anyone.
Of course fighting with my brother not only brought tears, but a complete meltdown.
I knew this would happen, I just didn't know when.
We got to my moms and I went upstairs to the bathroom and just sobbed...
you know the kind where you feel like you can't breathe? lol Yeah it was like that.
Then my sweet brother Trever came to my rescue and talked to me.
I told him all I wanted to do was go back to Idaho and work.
I didn't want to be here or anywhere else.
He convinced me that wasn't true and that he was glad I came.
I went downstairs and mingled with my siblings but mostly stayed pretty quiet.
There was more eating of pie going on then talking :)
I fell asleep on my moms couch and woke up to her telling me to get into bed.
I woke up this morning a little confused...
It was no longer Thanksgiving...
I had spent the night at my moms unintentionally...
and my mom wasn't home because she was on a plane on her way to Cancuun...

So I'm sitting at my moms house, on her computer (I didn't bring any electronics with me besides my cell phone), waiting for dear ol' dad to come pick me up.

Tonight I get to watch my nephews and that always is super fun :)
I'm glad Thanksgiving is over too :)
If we could just erase that day, my break so far has been wonderful :)
Minus the hanging out with the ex also.. haha

Not having my facebook has been such a good thing as well.
I had my friend Jessica change my password for me so I could focus on more important things... I was starting to get a little addicted to it.
It's actually kinda nice not knowing what everyone is doing haha

For today's song,
I was looking at youtube and I don't really know how I feel about this song but I LOVED the piano in it! So here it is :)

I LOVE MY LIFE :)