I hate satan!

This picture is the only thing giving me faith and comfort right now.

I'm supposed to be studying for a test.

But there's too much on my mind.

I hate satan.

I've always hated him but I hate him more than I ever have before right now.

We're given our free agency.

And what we choose to do with this agency is crucial.

It breaks my heart to watch those closest to me make bad choices when they KNOW what's right.

How they can be so happy and overwhelmed with the spirit and the gospel a month ago...

and now it's like they don't even care.

We all make mistakes.

And we can learn and repent from these mistakes.

But what about the mistakes that are being chosen as a way of living?...

And after this fact, what about all of the people that are being hurt because of one's choices?

I understand that we all need to do what makes us happy.

But some things are learned.

For example: people know taking drugs are bad. But after a while, it's what makes them happy.

Same with pornography, alcoholism, homosexuality, and other things like that.

I'm not judging anyone who has an addiction to these things.

I have friends that have these addictions and I still love them.

However I don't support their decisions.

My heart just hurts so much right now.

Because I really don't understand this stupid, idiotic, corrupt world.

Satan is everywhere.

Telling people that the world is right and the gospel is wrong.

He corrupts family... friends... and eternal salvation...

he makes us think that we can do whatever we want to be happy and feel good.

That we don't have to take the hard road... we can take he easy road.

His road.

I hate him.

I hate that he's caused so much pain in life.

Of course we need him so we can realize what's good.

But what about those who don't realize?...

what about those who don't care?

That get excommunicated from the church?

That are completely ruining their lives?

That don't want to be helped or don't think they need help?

I especially hate the stupid people in this world that tell others it's okay for them to be worldly.

IT'S NOT!!!

I hate that they say "just be happy", "do what's best for you, even if that means throwing everything away you've ever known." and "Don't care what your religion thinks, they're closed minded anyways."

I'll agree most mormons are closed minded.

But now I can see why.

The world is so corrupt.

And so are the people in it.

I don't want to be like the world.

I don't want my kids to be like the world.

And it breaks my heart to watch others become like the world.

I thought that I've been a good friend...

And I know I shouldn't blame bad things happening to my loved ones on myself.

But it just makes me wonder if I could've done more.

Why do we let satan win so much?

I know that I've let him win.

And when I do he's smiling and laughing while watching me make mistakes and then suffer.

Just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.

One thing is for sure, I WILL NOT let him win.

I'm too strong.

I won't go to the way of the world because it's easier.

I'm so glad that I have a true testimony of the gospel and that although I suffer heartache, I can always turn to it for comfort and guidance.

The world doesn't have that. Comfort-maybe in drugs and crap like that. Guidance-some people think it might but it really doesn't. I don't care what ANYONE says. The world does not and will not ever provide the kind of guidance that the gospel does.

I'm so sick of stubborn people who refuse the gospel. I understand that maybe it's not their time yet but I don't understand how they don't realize what blessings the gosel can bring.

And the people that throw those blessings away because they want to be like the world... make me so so so so so sad.

I always thought I wanted to get out of utah and idaho as soon as I could.. to experience the "real world".

No freaking way.

I've realized that I love being this sheltered.

I need to be around this kind of atmosphere.

Because my heart can't take the stupid world.

At least not right now anyways...