A Little Overdo...

Alright, so I've been putting this off for what seems like forever now.

I've gotten to the point that so much was happening that I thought

"This is going to take forever to blog"

And yet, here I am.

Ready to spend probably the next 2-3 hours telling you what has happened since I last blogged.

Here we go....

FAMILY WEEKEND

I left good ol' Rexburg on Thursday after I had rested from work.

Can I just say it's SO HARD having divorced parents...

When I go home I get pulled both ways so badly and being me, I like to please everyone.

Thursday night I went to my dad's first and visited for a bit.

Then I went to my mom's :)

Friday morning I woke up and got ready for my dad's sealing.

I didn't have to meet Austin until a bit later so I decided to stop at Cutler's and surprise Kira.

She freaked haha

It was awesome :)

Then I went to my dad's and bugged Austin until he was ready to go, considering I had been ready for literally HOURS.

We headed for the bountiful temple (stopped on the way for energy drinks of course)

We got to the temple and sat in the waiting room for a while.

The fam came out and we took a couple pics.

I hung with Maddi and chased Connor around.

Then we went to a restraunt in Kaysville.

I had been having this problem where I was NEVER hungry and had to force myself to eat.

Scary I know.

So when we got to the restraunt, naturally I wasn't hungry.

And Connor was being..... well Connor.

So I had a couple bites and went out with him in the foyer and played.

Best part of that?

I taught him to say "BYU sucks"

His dad Mike LOVES BYU and we're die hard Ute fans.

Needless to say when Connor ran up to Mike and said this... his dad was in shock.

Now I always ask: "Connor, do you like Utah or BYU?" his response is always

"BYU Sucks"

I also taught him to say "Goofball", and "Austin's a butt" :) I'm quite pleased with myself :)

That night Bre, Trever, Austin, and I went to Boondocks.

SO FUN!

Saturday I slept in until like 3pm.

Awesome.

Then mom and I went with Tracy to the skydiving place in Ogden.

Unfortunately stupid Utah weather permitted us from going skydiving :(

Oh well, we'll try again another time.

Instead we went out to dinner (again, like five bites of a salad)

and we went to a movie. "The Other Guys"

Super inappropriate. I wouldn't recommend it.

Sunday I slept in.

Kira came over and we talked for a bit.

I don't remember what I did after that.

I think I went over to my dad's for a bit.

Who knows

Monday I woke up early and headed to Raging Waters with the fam.

Fun but tiring.

My knee was killing me.

Connor was EVERYWHERE

Water was freezing

Austin and I got into an argument.

But it really was fun.

Then I got a pedicure with mom.

I came back to Rexburg Thursday morning.

I did a lot of laundry, cleaning, organizing, and spent time with the fam.

Since then I've just been workin my butt of here in Rexburg.

I work nights still as a CNA but I got another job as well.

I work at a place called "Upper Valley Options Developmental Disabilities Agency"

But for short we call it "Options"

It a place for those who are disabled to come and learn to do everyday things.

I love it there, but it doesn't pay much.

My life has been crazy

I love my life :)

Midnight Blogging

Well, although it's almost 1am, I can't sleep.

So I decided to blog.

I finally got a new roommate.

Her name is Kristina and she's really sweet.

I started my new shift at work.

6pm-6am

It definitely kicks my butt.

However, I need the money.

I go to work at night, and sleep during the day.

But I can only work 3 night shifts before I hit overtime.

So it's really not that bad.

I came home to Utah on Thursday night.

Friday was my dad's sealing with my step mom.

After that Austin, Trever, Bre, and I went to Boondocks and it was a TON of fun!

I really want to go again!

Saturday I was supposed to go sky diving with my mom.

But the winds were too high so we couldn't.

Instead we went to dinner and a movie.

Then we went grocery shopping.

Today I woke up and Kira came over.

It was really good to catch up with her.

Tomorrow I'm going to Raging Waters with the family.

That's my life lately.

Do I seem a little down?

That's because I am...

I try too hard.

I worry too much.

I think too much.

I over analyze too much.

I push people away.

I don't know if I like who I am...

I've always had a problem with my self esteem.

And everyone knows that.

But for once... I just want to be happy with myself.

I want to be able to feel like I've done something right.

Like I'm not a screw up.

I get so scared over the littlest things...

I guess I just hate disappointing people.

And I feel like it's all I ever do.

I don't know how to change.

I don't know how to stop hurting.

I don't know how to make people happy.

But I love my amazing friends.

And my family of course.

Maybe one day.... I'll actually get things right.