Christmas

It feels like it's been forever since I've posted!

Right now I'm at my sisters house, babysitting my two adorable nephews!

Let me tell you about what's been happening in my life :)

I've been quite the grouch lately.

Now some may say this is just how I am...

Although, I know that it's not just me.

I started a new medication about a month ago.

On Christmas night, my sweet cousin Donna and I had a wonderful talk and I told her about this medication.

We did some research and guess what?

This medication's side effects are of the devil!

And I blame all of my moodiness on it.

I seriously have been so irritable and moody.

My anxiety is going crazy and I've been freaking out over the littlest things.

Let's just say, I'm not taking that medication anymore.

My new escape has been working out at the gym.

AMAZING!

It kills my back and knees to run but it's so worth it.

Lifting weights, biking, and running have helped me get my stress and anger out so much!

I just hope that once I get back up to Rexburg that I can keep my routine up!

Christmas was kind of a blur for me.

Although I'm very thankful for the gifts I received.

It was nice to catch up with my family.

The past week with my mom has been great.

We've hung out a lot and I even went to breakfast with my dad one day.

I did some recording, but I'm on my sister's computer so I'll have to put the videos up later.

That's been my other escape.

Playing the piano.

Holy Moses I forgot how much I loved playing.

I've finished an entire piano book of primary songs by Paul Cardall and it has been amazing to feel the spirit while I play.

I've spent the last two nights at Kira's house :)

We've watched Glee and talked a lot.

I've also gone to lunch with Jessica and talked about quite a lot.

I dyed my hair today :)

I'm back to my old blonde self!

It's gonna take some time to get used to.

I realized that when I got to Utah State and was on my own, in college, I thought I had to change.

So I dyed my hair to brown, and became something I'm not.

I was able to talk to a great man today. His name is Dr. Empy.

We talked about what's been going on in my life.

Wanna know what he told me?

He said I'm too hard on myself.

And he's right.

He said I'm trying so hard to please other people that I've completely forgotten about myself.

So my goal is to really concentrate on making myself happy.

I'm going to work out everyday.

Eat right.

Get plenty of sleep.

And stop comparing myself to others.

I only talked to him today and I'm already starting to change back to my old self.

I loved being blonde growing up, so I thought why not go back to what I want to be?

I'll put up some pictures later :)

I've really been thinking about a mission lately.

But I have so much to do to prepare.

I've been lacking in preparing so that's another goal I have.

I'm going to aim for a mission and take things a day at a time :)

As far as boys go...

I wouldn't say I've given up, I'm just not worrying about it anymore.

I know that I'm a great girl with so much potential, and when a nice guy sees that... I'll take it as it comes.

For right now, I'm going to concentrate on being happy by myself and for me :)

My mom and I talked today about one of my ex boyfriends.

I told her I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong in that relationship to make it end.

She told me that sometimes two people are great alone, but not great together.

I know that when I find the guy for me, everything will fall into place.

I'm really excited for school to start :)

I have no idea where I'm going in life.

But I've decided that's all part of the adventure :)

I LOVE MY LIFE :)

Jar of Hearts

I heard this song on the radio when I was with my brother Austin last night.
And I LOVED it!
It's kind of depressing and emotional but I loved the piano in it and all of the emotion behind it!
It's by Christina Perri

Crazy!

Wow, life has been crazy lately!
I'm currently at my mom's house for Christmas break.
Let me give you a quick little rundown of what's been going on in my life.

Work. Boys. Roommates. Moving. Friends.

Work- going great! Loving my job, making good money, good hours... super fun!

Boys- :) So... my roommates and I had to go to the mall again :) :)
I have to give you this whole story haha
So, the guy at Kay Jewelers (Derek) was working when we got to the mall.
Of course I wanted any excuse to talk to him.
So my awesome roommate Kristina pretended like she was going to be getting engaged soon and wanted to look at rings :)
Derek asked what happened with my old relationship and I simply told him it ended very unexpectedly and that they guy I was dating just didn't feel right about it anymore.
I asked why his relationship ended and he gave me his reasons.
I then asked him if he was dating anyone... he said no.
He asked if I was dating anyone... I told him a couple dates here and there, but nothing TOO serious.
We finished our conversation and quickly headed on our way.
I was a little upset for not getting his number again but there wasn't really a good moment to.

My roommates and I proceeded on our mall adventure to Dillards.
We decided to look at some bedding when I found the CUTEST ROXY bedding!
Let me just tell you, I'm a HUGE ROXY girl!
And Roxy bedding is super hard to find!
And it's super expensive!
Well...
the bedding I found was not only an 8 piece set, but it was the exact colors to match everything I already have and was 70% off!!!!
It was originally $260 but I purchased it for only $60!!!
I was one HAPPY girl!!!

Because I was on this happy high, I decided I had nothing to lose.
I went back to Kay Jewelers by myself and luckily Derek was the only one not helping a customer.
He had a smile on his face when he saw me and I said
"Hey, I normally don't ever do this but... would you maybe wanna hang out sometime?"...
His response?
"Yeah! I'm glad you came back in! I was gonna ask you out but you left in such a hurry!"
:)
That's how it's done ladies and gentleman lol

We hung out the next night playing catch phrase with my roommates and some friends,
and then hung out again Tuesday night playing Call of Duty and watching Deja Vu.
He's an awesome friend and I'm really glad I had the guts to go back and get his number.

I've been dating some other guys too but as of right now I'm just still super confused about some stuff and am just enjoying dating.

A mission is still on my mind a lot and I figure if something is supposed to happen with a guy, it will :)

Roommates:
So I had amazing roommates this past semester!
And saying goodbye to them was really hard!
But luckily the last couple weeks of school we all got to hang out more and get even closer!
I love those girls!

Moving:
My mom came up on Friday and helped me clean and move my stuff to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Rigby.
Then we headed back to Utah where I'll be staying for the next two weeks.
When I go back to Rexburg I'll be back in my new apartment and Lisa will be there!! yay!

Friends:
Rule #1-if you have plans with somebody, don't blow them off!
Rule #2- if you have plans with somebody, don't go hang out with somebody else you know is going to bother the original person.
Rule #3- if you have plans with somebody, don't think everything will be alright when you tell them you can't hang out with them because they're hanging out with an old friend who hates your guts for no apparent reason at all and then say "I'm not gonna get in the middle of it".
Oh honey, you've already gotten in the middle of it! Especially when this other friend hasn't been a friend at all.... to anyone!
Okay, venting about that is done :)

For this break, I have some fun plans!
When I got here Friday, I went to a ward Christmas party, then played the Wii with my brother in law Mike.
Today my mom and I went shopping for super cute boots that Santa will be giving me Christmas morning!

I got these ones in black!

I got these ones in brown!

Then we went to walmart, I went shopping with my brother Austin, we went to a family Christmas party (super fun! Austin and I played basketball practically the WHOLE time!), and we went and saw Harry Potter!
Tomorrow I will be sleeping. After church. Maybe.
Monday I'm leaving with my sister, brother in law, and three kids to go to our Condo in Midway :) We'll be having dinner with my uncle, aunt, and cousin who are visiting from Tennessee and we'll be spending the night! yay! (I LOVE going to the condo!)
Tuesday my family and I are going tubing in Park City!
Wednesday and Thursday.... no idea.
Friday: Hang out at Gma and Gpa Woods, Christmas Eve dinner at moms!
Saturday: Presents at moms, hang at Gma and Gpa woods, wii all day baby!
Sunday: Church, lunch, open presents from dad and debb.... sleep!

That's all I got so far.

I'm dying my hair back to blonde sometime that week too! yay!

I have some pics I need to put up on here... maybe later lol
Well, that's all I have for now!

I LOVE MY LIFE

A Girl Like Me

I wrote this song tonight.
Let me know what you think :)

A Girl Like Me

I may not have the gorgeous looks
I may not be popular
I may not walk in stiletto heels
I'm nothing like the other girls.
I may not have the smarts, the brains
I may have a lot of insecurities
But one thing's for sure...
You aint never met a girl like me.

I can't help myself, I talk way too much.
And in the wrong place, I don't talk enough.
But I'll stand my ground... I'll try to act tough.
I can't figure out the difference between my wants and needs.
But one thing's for sure...
You aint never met a girl like me.

Chorus:
Go ahead and call me crazy
Go ahead, say I'm the different one.
Think all you want about me,
Go ahead and make some fun.
Go ahead yeah it's okay,
Cuz at the end of every day,
I'm proud to say...
You aint never met a girl like me.

I may wear too bright of colors
in the season of fall.
I may study for hours,
and come away with nothing at all.
I may have strong opinions,
I may be obsessive with some things.
But one thing's for sure...
You aint never met a girl like me.

Chorus

Think all you want about me.
Go ahead and make some fun....

Chorus

Go ahead yeah it's okay
Cuz at the end of everyday
I'm proud to say
You aint never met a girl like me.

Last Kiss

It's amazing to me how much someone can grow in such little time...
In my last post I mentioned an ex of mine that I was pretty serious with.
For a while, I've refused to talk about it with anyone...
But now I look at where I am and almost want to cry because of how far I've come..

It's crazy for me to look back on my old relationship.
Because I honestly remember very little of it.
Unfortunately, I tend to repress memories, whether good or bad.

I haven't had my facebook for a reason...
However the other day I was looking at pictures on my camera and ran across a picture of he and I from back then.
And it was so weird because it was like I didn't even recognize him or even remember the event when that picture was taken...

There's a song by Taylor Swift called "Last Kiss" that always reminds me of him.
And yet rather than crying, I can't help but smile.

Not just this relationship, but all of mine that I've been through have been such blessings for me.
I've learned so much about myself through every one of them and am so grateful for the hurt I had to go through.
Sometimes I wonder how in the world Heavenly Father trusts me and loves me so much.

All of the wonderful young men that I have dated and gotten to grow close to will never know how thankful I am for them.

Of course all relationships have their regrets and the things I wish I could have done differently.
But I've just realized lately how grateful I am for the lessons I've learned with dating.

So for any "ex" that's reading this, thank you.
Thanks for putting up with me.
And for making me the person I am today.
Whether we talk or not, or you think I'm crazy or not,
Thank You.

I've always been the kind of girl that's liked to stay friends with my ex's.
And sometimes it's so hard to look back and remember certain young men who are completely out of my life now.
But no matter what, I will always be grateful :)

I LOVE MY LIFE

Optimism

To start off this post, I have a pretty interesting story to tell, and a goal that I will keep in mind this coming semester.
Once upon a time, I was going to get married.
Weird, I know.
This ex of mine and I went to Idaho Falls to Kay Jewelers to pick out my ring.
The guy that helped us at the time was also a student at BYU-Idaho and was talking to my ex about payment options. He continued to tell us how he was paying for his soon to be fiance's ring...blah blah blah.
Well, obviously I'm not married and that relationship didn't work out.
My roommates and I had a little mall trip this past weekend and I wanted to show them the beautiful ring that was almost mine.
While there, this same guy came out and crazy enough, he remembered me.
He asked me my name, I asked his and I asked how engaged life was.
And he just stared at me....
Then told me his relationship didn't work out.
I smiled and started laughing and said "Hey! Mine either!!"
He apologized for my breakup and I again just laughed and said it was okay.
So... this guy is single...I'm single....he obviously was saving up for a ring... the possibilities are endless :)
haha
We finished our flirty chat and my roommates and I went on our way to Sears.
Then my roommates tried to convince me to get his number.
Well, being me I chickened out.
And I'm kind of mad at myself for it...however this weekend we have to go to the mall again... hmmm.... :)

So my goal for this coming semester is to stop being such a chicken! Rejection sucks but hey, that's life! :)

My life has been a roller coaster lately.
However, my goal since Thanksgiving is to be ridiculously optimistic.
For example,

• I got laid off from my job in Idaho Falls as a CNA...I was so upset because I LOVED that job and couldn't figure out why I had to face this trial.But I've continued to be optimistic and realized that it was out of my control and nothing good will happen by being sad.

• I got a speeding ticket on the way back to Idaho...My insurance is now so high that you'd probably faint if I told you the amount I get to pay a month. I was upset that I was speeding, and upset that I got a ticket. But it happened. And again, nothing good would come from being upset. So I turned up my music, jammed out while driving, and went the speed limit the rest of the way home.

• A guy that told me he's had interest in me for years asked me to give him a chance, so I did, and then once he realized he had me, he gave me the "Let's just be friends" line. I trusted him, and believed him, and being a girl was a little hurt. But it's his loss and that just means there's someone better than him out there for me :)

• I love dating and socializing. But it seems like when all you want to do is be single and figure things out for yourself, guys come knocking at my door wanting more than friendship and inside i'm screaming "I'm not ready to date again!" but I'm a girl of risk and chance. I went on a date Friday night...amazing! It was SOOO much fun! Then last night, I couldn't get my car to start... ugh. There were only three guys I could think of to call that would know how to start it. An ex that wants nothing to do with me (long long long story), the guy that's 'liked me for years' (bull crap), and the guy I went out with the night before. So I called the guy I went out with and he came and helped me out. So sweet! We hung out after but here's where the crappy part comes in. Apparently I'm out of dating practice... because he didn't get a positive reaction from me. :( BUT, I HAVE to be optimistic... so here it goes: I had two nights of sooo much fun! (we played in the snow for like an hour and I haven't had that much fun and laughed like that with a guy ina LONG time), I learned that I'm out of practice so I need to get better at dating, he made me feel like my old happy, outgoing self again :), and I know that he'll always be a great friend :)

I feel like I'm doing pretty well at being optimistic :)

On Friday afternoon, my roommates and I went to Idaho Falls to get a little shopping done. I didn't buy anything, but I had lots of fun!!

Kristina and Becca (Bubba and Becca Cakes)

Megan and I (Megatron and Hollywood)

There was one thing this week that honestly helped me more than anything.

My sister's friend, Kathryn is 26 and just got engaged.

And I admire her SO much!

I emailed her a while ago letting her know how amazing I thought she was and how scared I was to get old and not be married like all of my friends.

But since her email, my views have changed completely.

I'm SO excited to possibly go on a mission, graduate college, and travel. :)

Well, that's all I have for today :)
Another week ahead of me :)

I LOVE MY LIFE :)