In the Last Year...

I had a conversation the other day my amazing mom.
I've been having a pretty emotional time lately.
When my mom told me she's proud of how far I've come in the last year.
And I realized... she's right.

So I decided to make a list of the things I've done in the last year.

Moved out on my own

Learned to deal with hard roommates

Set foot on a college campus and attended classes

Made friends from all over the world

Wrote so many missionaries I lost count

Moved to a different state

Completely changed because of BYUI

Made lifetime long best friends (Lisa Miller)

Dated so many different kinds of guys...

Learned to budget

Held 3 different callings in the church

Become comfortable with myself

Went inside two different temples

Traveled to California on my own

Got out of my comfort zone.. a lot

Realized how much I LOVE science

cut out tanning and getting my nails done :) BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT haha

Said no to shopping... Another big accomplishment

Learned how to cook.. kind of :)

Got not only one.. but two jobs

Fallen in love, had my heart broken, and have broken hearts

Became closer than I ever thougt possible with my brother Austin

Forgiven like crazy...

Faced my deepest fears..

Realized that no matter how much I didn't want to admit it... I love the gospel and can't live without it.

Cried like I never have before

Smiled like I never have before

I'm sure there's more. The point is: I'm finally discovering who I am. And who I want to be.

No matter what anyone tells me... I'm beautiful, smart, hard working, loving, caring, passionate, stubborn, crazy, emotional, and a total mess most of the time. But ya know what? I wouldn't change one single thing about me. I love who I am. And if others don't... well then, they just don't know what they're missing out on :)

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

August 2010

September 2010

I LOVE MY LIFE

It's The Little Things

Alright, so a lot has happened since I last posted.

My mom got engaged :) Super happy for her.

Labor Day with my family was fun.

Since that weekend, I've learned SO much about myself.

I've discovered my faults, as well as my better qualities.

I've discovered those who I truly love, and how blessed I am.

My 5 major faults:

Complaining

Stubborness

Self-esteem

Worrying

Emotional

My 5 major better qualities:

Compassion

Believing

Trying my hardest

Not giving up

Passionate

I also found that you don't really understand, comprehend, appreciate, and possibly fully love something or someone until you've lost, or almost lost it, or them.

I don't know how I got so blessed...

I've realized, I don't need money, a nice house, nice things, or anything of that sort.

Love, and the gospel, is already more than I could ever want and appreciate.

From last night until forever, I am making 3 public promises to myself and anyone else who's willing to hear (or in this case read) them.

I promise I will always try my best to be positive in all things and aspects.

I promise I will always try my best to put others first.

I promise I will always try my best to love with all my heart.

I would never change anything about my past, who I've become, and where I'm going.

I love my life.

Alone

Everyone knows what it feels like to be alone at one point or another.

Whether they're physically alone, or just feel like they don't have anyone to talk to.

Have you ever had a dream?

Something you knew was going to happen no matter what?

No matter what anyone told you, you just knew they were wrong..

What happens when they become right?...

When everything you thought you knew got flipped upside down...

When friends, family, and love just seem like things...

And you feel that there's not one person you want to talk to.

Becauuse you don't even know how you're feeling yourself.

To have so much trust, care, love, and passion for someone or something..

And then in one second...everything can change.

Not knowing how to feel... feeling nothing.

Hoping to wake up the next morning realizing that moment was just a bad dream...

Or the last 3 months was just a dream...

or the last year...

or your whole life...

Sometimes I just don't get it.

But this is life right?

We're not supposed to get it.

At least I don't think we are.

Alone.

With everything going on...

I still feel it.

Today,

I don't know how I feel about life.